I used to have a forcefield… and a ninja. They were my emotional defense system. I would tell myself that they protected me from negative energy, held the bad things out, and kept my heart from breaking.
The forcefield and the ninja were really just locking me up inside of myself though. They tied up my lonely tears, my regrets, my broken promises, my toppled visions of outcomes, and they hid them deep in the pit of my empty stomach. It started eating my insides up, like I’d swallowed a monster. Dropping the forcefield and firing the ninja was the only way to let that thing escape.
Sharing what that monster was, meeting people on their level of communication, putting my feelings into words they can understand, and doing that in all of my relationships… it’s scary stuff. It leaves me open to heartbreak, and the entire gamut of emotional pain. It also leaves me open to the opposite side of the feeling swing though… the unconditional love stuff, and the truly healing relationships. It’s been the most rewarding trade off I’ve made in life. I think everyone should do it.
As your friend, I feel like you might be right there… at the point where you are ready to open everything up. I know that it’s kind of a scary process to be going through, but it’s going to be worth it. In the meantime, keep doing what you’re doing… and let me know if you need an open ear or a warm hug.
— leest1 —