I’ve burnt my bridges with fire in the past,
it always seemed like the most logical way to go about it.
Lately I’ve been doing it by hand though.
Tearing out nails one by one.
Using kicks and karate chops is a lot more painful.
It can make a person angry, in the moment.
That way the fear and the guilt have less chance of getting in the way.
It’s easy to watch that bridge crumble,
after it’s been the cause of so much self inflicted pain.
So I pull one last nail and give one last push.
And as the two by fours turn to driftwood…
it’s the regret that hurts most.
Watching something so stable disappear is always difficult,
something so trustworthy, so beautiful.
Since I can’t go back in time and apologies aren’t enough.
My next thoughts are of repair, the rebuilding process.
I’m worried now though that the pain, the fear, and the guilt,
will not be enough to build upon.
— leest1 —